localhost, Вот
$d1sql = mysql_query("SELECT COUNT(*) FROM `frends_new` WHERE (`user` = '$user[id]' AND `to` = '$user_id') OR (`user` = '$user_id' AND `to` = '$user[id]') LIMIT 1");
$d2sql = mysql_query("SELECT COUNT(*) FROM `frends` WHERE (`user` = '$user[id]' AND `frend` = '$user_id') OR (`user` = '$user_id' AND `frend` = '$user[id]') LIMIT 1");
if(isset($user) && $user['id']!=$user_id && mysql_result($d1sql, 0)==0 && mysql_result($d2sql, 0)==0){echo '<li><a href="' .$home. '/str/frend_add.php?id='.$user['id'].'">Предложить дружбу</a></li>';}