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hooligan, Если я правильно понял, можно так сделать

$count = mysql_num_rows(mysql_query("SELECT * 
			FROM `mail_msg` 
			WHERE id_user='" . $user_id . "' or id_kont='" . $user_id .
                "' GROUP BY id_kont;"));

            if ($count > 0) {

                $album = mysql_query("SELECT  * 
				FROM `mail_msg` 
				WHERE id_user='" . $user_id . "' or id_kont='" . $user_id .
                    "' GROUP BY id_kont LIMIT " . $start . "," . $kmess . ";");

                while ($add = mysql_fetch_array($album)) {

                    $total_out = mysql_num_rows(mysql_query("SELECT * 
					FROM `mail_msg` 
					WHERE id_user='" . $user_id . "' and id_kont='" . $add['id_kont'] . "';"));

                    $total = mysql_num_rows(mysql_query("SELECT * 
					FROM `mail_msg` 
					WHERE id_kont='" . $user_id . "' and id_user='" . $add['id_user'] . "';"));

                    $user = mysql_fetch_array(mysql_query("SELECT `name` 
					FROM `users` 
					WHERE id='" . $add['id_kont'] . "' LIMIT 1;"));

                    echo $user['name'] . '(' . $total . '/' . $total_out . ')<br />';

                }

                echo '<div class="phdr">Всего: ' . $count . '</div>';

            }